By July 2023, almost 40% of the people who participated in CAAGe research into adult grooming described PTSD (Post traumatic stress disorder) or CPTSD (complex post traumatic stress disorder) as one of the top three effects that having been groomed had on them. As others described associated symptoms such as disassociation or lashing out, we strongly suspect that this figure is understated.

Both conditions are highly predictable reactions to traumatic or distressing experiences, yet are considered mental health ‘disorders’. (At CAAGe we’d like to see some new terms emerging - we don’t label someone with cuts or broken bones ‘disabled’, so why label a common reaction to extreme trauma a ‘disorder’?)

There are some key differences between the two related conditions - how they occur generally defines how difficult they are to treat.

People who have been groomed are particularly susceptible to the condition(s) due to the intentionality of what has happened, a something that predisposes victims to PTSD.

PTSD is defined as a mental health disorder that can occur in response to a traumatic event. This could be a single happening, such as a car accident, natural disaster, or physical assault, or an ongoing trauma, like domestic abuse or military combat. The symptoms of PTSD typically include flashbacks, nightmares, hyperarousal, avoidance behaviors, and negative thoughts or feelings related to the event. (20% of our respondents reported anxiety, panic attacks, nightmares and inability to sleep as one of the top three effects of having been groomed.) These symptoms tend to be easier to deal with that the symptoms of CPTSD.

CPTSD is a newer term used to describe a pattern of symptoms that can occur as a result of prolonged exposure to traumatic events, often in childhood, and is gaining recognition within psychiatry as a separate condition. The symptoms of CPTSD include all of those found in PTSD, but also include difficulties with emotional regulation, dissociation, relationship problems, and a sense of shame or guilt. The symptoms of CPTSD often reflect long-term impacts of repeated trauma, including changes in brain function, emotional processing, and interpersonal relationships.

Relationship issues are a massive issue for people post-grooming according to our research: 14% lost their ‘significant other’ (spouse or partner) or were struggling to save the relationship; 19% had their family relationships affected, and some described losing care of their children; 22% have found their friendships negatively affected; and 18% had their romantic relationships/sex lives destroyed. Just over 5% reported having gone on into further bad relationships, something we will be looking more closely into later.

Although some grooming may involve individual, short lived traumas, grooming (and the activities it can lead to) usually happens over a period of time.

Individuals experiencing the trauma of grooming should seek out professional help as soon as they feel able to reduce the potential for long-term mental health effects. It is important that if you seek counselling, the counsellor understands trauma (trauma informed).

Signs of PTSD

• Unwanted/unexpected re-experiencing the event(s) including flashbacks or intrusive thoughts at unexpected moments;

• Intense reactions (physical and/or emotional) when reminded of the abuse;

• Nightmares and sleeplessness - and consequent tiredness;

• Avoidance! This could be avoiding thinking or talking about what’s happened, even denial; staying away from people or situations that remind you of your situation/events;

• Negative thoughts: low mood, depression, anger or anxiety, and finding it hard/unreasonable to be happy;

• Shame or guilt;

• Losing interest in previously enjoyable things and/or feeling negative about the World in general;

• Memory loss, particularly with regard to the situation;

• Hyperarousal, over-reacting, always being on edge/watchful; being easily startled; increased jumpiness;

• Fearfulness and feeling unsafe;

• Having trouble concentrating or emotional detachment;

• Getting angry or aggressive, sometimes suddenly;

• Risky/self harming behaviours, like risky sexual activity, drink or drugs.

Responses to both conditions (PTSD and CPTSD) are as varied as both the practitioners and the individuals suffering, so when choosing help, choose what resonates with you, not simply on the basis of what worked for someone else.

For example, I found EMDR incredibly effective. Others view it as on a par with voodoo. (Personally I don’t care - it worked for me.)

The APA (American Psychological Association) lists several types of treatment for PTSD: APA recommended treatments.

MIND in the UK takes a wider view and, as well as some of the aforementioned, suggests that of therapies, like art therapy, can also be useful :MINDs suggested PTSD therapies.

There is no pill that will take either condition away overnight. It took a while to come, it will take a while to go, but you DO have choices.

At CAAGe we have several recommended counsellors, who we are happy to recommend, a list that we expect to grow imminently, as well as having listed places you may be able to access other help: CAAGe How to: Mental Wellbeing.

I’m going to reiterate a couple of things here because I believe they are important:

• Pick the person/therapy that’s right for you. With PTSD/CPTSD it’s really important that you are relaxed about your choice - the last thing you need is more stress in your life.

• Don’t overlook your doctor - they can be an invaluable help in accessing free mental health service support.

• There is never any harm in trying to treat the symptoms individually, like lack of sleep, but beware of treating the symptom, not the underlying problem.

If you are concerned about someone who has been, or is being groomed, whilst it’s ok to mention the possibility of PTSD/getting help, please don’t push them. They have enough to deal with and have to be ready. One of the best things you can do is offer a non-judgemental ear as they try and sort things out in their own mind.

The unspeakable truth about adult grooming is that at the start it feels good - great even. If it didn’t, it wouldn’t work. So the victim is often left feeling confused, and needs space to work out how they fell for it, why they fell for it, how could something that felt so real to them (excitement over a new job or opportunity, a new love affair, the chance to travel) have been a lie. Allowing them the time and space to unravel it could be a far greater gift to the victim/target than pushing them towards something they don’t feel ready for. (This won’t be everyone. Some people go and get the help straight away, some people have the amazing ability to put it in the right place mentally - we’re all different.)

Yet amidst all of this doom and gloom, know that given time, patience and a little hard work, both PTSD and CPTSD can be overcome.

If you’ve had successful treatment for either condition, please free to share below what worked for you (whether it was as a result of grooming or something else). Knowing what their options are could be invaluable for someone.