Lexicon of Abuse: Gaslighting
Continuing ‘Lexicon’, the CAAGe series on terms regularly used in discussions of adult grooming….
‘Gaslighting’ is a term used to describe someone deliberately distorting another person’s reality or creating confusion in their target’s mind, making it difficult for their target to trust their own perceptions and judgment. It is a form of psychological manipulation regularly used by groomers in an attempt to control someone else’s thoughts, feelings, and actions.
The term “gaslighting” has its origins in author Patrick Hamilton’s 1938 play “Gas Light,” in which a husband manipulates his wife into believing that she is going insane by dimming the gas lights in their home and denying that the lighting has changed.
The concept has since been adopted to describe deliberate attempts to distort another person’s perception of reality and undermine their confidence in their own beliefs, thoughts, and feelings. It’s particularly cruel because often the target believes there is something wrong with themselves rather than looking for the true cause of the issue: the offender’s - in our case groomer’s - manipulation.
Gaslighting manifests in a variety of ways: denying a person's experiences,making them doubt their own memory (“it didn’t happen like that”), or even changing their perception of reality altogether (“you’re imagining it”).
Gaslighters - in this case manipulative groomers - use tactics such as lying, gaslighting by proxy, projection, and shaming in order to maintain their control:
Lying, making false statements or denying what they have said or done, causing their target to doubt their own memory or judgement.
Gaslighting by proxy involves manipulating other people to make the victim believe that they are losing their mind.
Projection involves the gaslighter accusing their target of doing something that they themselves have done.
Shaming, making their target feel bad for questioning their perception of reality, sometimes in public.
Gaslighting is a serious form of emotional abuse that can cause long-term damage to a person’s mental health and well-being. Victims of gaslighting may experience feelings of confusion, anxiety, depression, and even post-traumatic stress disorder (mental health issues common to targets of grooming). This in turn can impact their relationships and work life.
Gaslighting is a particularly invidious form of psychological manipulation used to control and undermine another person’s thoughts, feelings, and actions because it turns the problem on the victim. I
It can be devastating for those who experience it, and awareness is the key to protecting ourselves and others. There is a growing awareness of the technique amongst both legal and mental health professionals, but further awareness is still needed.
